Now that the semester is over and I’ve taken a few weeks to sleep, eat healthy food again, and basically just chill poolside, I’ve decided to write a few posts about the last units we did in each of my classes. All of my professors saved the coolest, most interesting stuff for the last weeks of class, which is pretty smart of them.
On the day of our Intro to MNT final, D and I went out to eat at this Mexican place near campus. In the beginning, this was a complete disaster, because I am the kind of suburb-dwelling moron who completely forgets that you have to actually pay for parking in the big city. All I usually do is drive to campus, park in a university lot, go do class, and then drive home, so I never worry about having cash and/or quarters on me. However, the restaurant was just far enough away from school that I couldn’t walk there quickly, so when I got there and realized my only options were pay-in-cash lots or meter spots on the street, there was a problem. Thankfully, there was a bank nearby. And lesson learned – I always have quarters in my car now.
Once I finally made it into the restaurant, D was already munching on what was possibly the most delicious guacamole I have ever tasted in my life, and yes, that includes Chipotle. There was something sweet in it, rather than spicy. I don’t know what it was, but it was heavenly. Anyway, I sat down, and because D knows that I have celiac (we were Food Science lab partners, so she had to cook with me all semester), she immediately started asking me questions about…digestion. Apparently she’s been having some issues and was going for a variety of GI tests in the next week or so.
If you are squeamish about these things, I suggest you stop reading. But don’t worry, this is fun!
We spent a good fifteen minutes talking about how we both go back and forth between constipation and diarrhea (when I have a normal BM, I actually cheer inside. Seriously, it’s one of the worst parts of celiac), what foods set us off, the varieties of stomach aches we have, and acid reflux. We were seated right next to the bar, and I felt sorry for the poor waiter who was stuck back there, because D and I are both kind of loud and boisterous when we get going. Also, for some reason, when you suffer from these kinds of health issues, it is super exciting to meet someone else who does, too. I’m talking squeals of joy.
Seriously, we should have tipped him or something.
Anyway, as I circle back around to the original reason for this post, this was a particularly amusing conversation for us because the very last MNT class session was about – you guessed it – poop!
We had been plugging through the GI unit for the last several weeks (which really, I probably could have taught myself. Between me and my various family members, I either knew or had been tested for every disease we learned about. I’m not kidding. I was the only one who knew what gastroparesis* was.), and Professor S thought it would be fun to finish the unit, and the semester, with, well, what the GI tract finishes with.
Everybody does it. Don’t be grossed out.
So after we spent about a half an hour talking about poop, what makes it healthy, how it’s processed, etc (all of which you can read about above in the handy infographic I found on Pinterest), we then took a quiz Professor S had found on WebMD.
Guess what…I have the quiz for you too!!
How’d you do? Proudly, and as you may have guessed from the rest of this post, I got a 12/12. One girl in class, who sat a few rows in front of me, very quickly shrieked the answer to the question about farting, which was pretty freaking funny.
My personal favorite was number three: “True or False; a BM can make you giddy.”
I mean, who hasn’t had that feeling of relief? I guessed the right answer, but finding out the science behind it was fascinating. And I’ve been entertaining/disgusting everyone I know with that little factoid ever since.
*If you’re curious, gastroparesis is a disease where the motions of the stomach that promote digestion gradually slow. So by the time the disease has fully run it’s course, many patients have to be on a 100% liquid diet, because their stomach is incapable of digesting solid food. I was tested for this around the time I was 21, just a few years after being diagnosed with the celiac. The test involved going into the doctor’s office fasting, then eating some scrambled eggs (which, ps. was like eating rubber), then going through a series of scans every half hour to see how fast the eggs went through digestion. This might sound awful, but it was one of the least invasive/offensive tests I’ve had done. Eating and then scanning – piece of cake (well, piece of eggs, I guess?). Thankfully it turned out I didn’t have it.